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So I don’t have much time. I mean tonight to write, in general too really. I realize it has been awhile, but I guess the end seeming so near I haven’t felt like it. Time flies by these days and I either get inspired and the computer is busy, get inspired and forget, or just fail to be inspired. At first it was easy, everything was so different, anything happening felt new and exciting. But now it is all normal. Living in Germany is normal. Comments about my German being good or bad are normal. Kids saying cute things are normal. I soak it in but don’t feel compelled to share. These are my moments, so forgive my selfishness, but I don’t have many left. I bounce back and forth these days from wanting to leave to wishing I could stay. Mostly wishes to leave are inspired by the knowledge that it is almost time to leave, knowing that, I just want to be able to rip it off like a bandage. I am not really ready to forget all that has happened this year, to leave behind the high fives and only speaking to children in German. The monthly calls to my parents, postcards to friends, it was all just very nice.
Moving on, now that all that mush has been squeezed out the top of my brain. Today I am in a bad mood. I should feel good. Actually I did feel good early on. Not when I woke up. When I woke up I was dreading today. Not really because the class I would have to teach was bad, but because it was too early to wake up, and I knew I would only have one class period, so the day would be a waste. I toyed with staying home, but those who know me best know that it wasn’t really an option. Upon arriving to school I got a surprise. The sixth class was going on a field trip, and I was invited to join them. It was asked in this way: Frau Rasche ‘Do you want to go to the cinema?’ Me: ‘Uhh’ Frau Rasche ‘The answer is yes.’ So I went. I can’t say I wasn’t happy to have a work day that was basically chilling and watching a movie. The movie was in German, but I can understand enough that the whole ‘it’s in German’ task isn’t quite so daunting.
To explain my mood I will say this: If anyone is really happy, and wants to not be happy anymore, watch Bridge To Terebithia. It is a kid’s movie. But the end is a real downer, especially if you are excessively tired from staying up until 3AM and getting up at 6, being addicted to coffee and not having any and from sitting through a 96 minute movie in a foreign language. I won’t ruin the surprise. But it made me sad the rest of the day. Stupid movie. Not even Kid’s Club day and Adult English right after it could cheer me up. (Okay, they took my mind off of it, but only because they just made me more tired). But now I am staying up too late again to write this so you, my dear reader, won’t worry or complain. Happy Reading.
So I don’t have much time. I mean tonight to write, in general too really. I realize it has been awhile, but I guess the end seeming so near I haven’t felt like it. Time flies by these days and I either get inspired and the computer is busy, get inspired and forget, or just fail to be inspired. At first it was easy, everything was so different, anything happening felt new and exciting. But now it is all normal. Living in Germany is normal. Comments about my German being good or bad are normal. Kids saying cute things are normal. I soak it in but don’t feel compelled to share. These are my moments, so forgive my selfishness, but I don’t have many left. I bounce back and forth these days from wanting to leave to wishing I could stay. Mostly wishes to leave are inspired by the knowledge that it is almost time to leave, knowing that, I just want to be able to rip it off like a bandage. I am not really ready to forget all that has happened this year, to leave behind the high fives and only speaking to children in German. The monthly calls to my parents, postcards to friends, it was all just very nice.
Moving on, now that all that mush has been squeezed out the top of my brain. Today I am in a bad mood. I should feel good. Actually I did feel good early on. Not when I woke up. When I woke up I was dreading today. Not really because the class I would have to teach was bad, but because it was too early to wake up, and I knew I would only have one class period, so the day would be a waste. I toyed with staying home, but those who know me best know that it wasn’t really an option. Upon arriving to school I got a surprise. The sixth class was going on a field trip, and I was invited to join them. It was asked in this way: Frau Rasche ‘Do you want to go to the cinema?’ Me: ‘Uhh’ Frau Rasche ‘The answer is yes.’ So I went. I can’t say I wasn’t happy to have a work day that was basically chilling and watching a movie. The movie was in German, but I can understand enough that the whole ‘it’s in German’ task isn’t quite so daunting.
To explain my mood I will say this: If anyone is really happy, and wants to not be happy anymore, watch Bridge To Terebithia. It is a kid’s movie. But the end is a real downer, especially if you are excessively tired from staying up until 3AM and getting up at 6, being addicted to coffee and not having any and from sitting through a 96 minute movie in a foreign language. I won’t ruin the surprise. But it made me sad the rest of the day. Stupid movie. Not even Kid’s Club day and Adult English right after it could cheer me up. (Okay, they took my mind off of it, but only because they just made me more tired). But now I am staying up too late again to write this so you, my dear reader, won’t worry or complain. Happy Reading.
posted by Keith @ 11:05 PM
33 Comments:
i know it will hurt when the bandage comes off and you must leave, but you should know that i, for one, am very much looking forward to seeing you, dear.
and i cannot say that i remember all the details, but i do recall crying quite a lot when i read that book years and years ago. i think being so stronly effected by such things is a good thing, Keith. even if it hurts.
much love,
Liz
Keith the band-aid that binds us together will soon be removed. It's a special kind of band-aid because I've found that it's quite sticky - by that I mean that it seems to pick up exciting things.
Worst annalogy ever? perhaps.
here's your comment!
Thanks for article!
Thanks for interesting article.
Glad to read articles like this. Thanks to author!
Excellent website. Good work. Very useful. I will bookmark!
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