Monday, September 04, 2006

Of Wind(ig) and Bad Moods

Today is one of the windiest days I have so far expericened. It is particularly windy here in Germany, as far as I can reason. Today readers you unfortunately find me in poor spirits. I think it comes from lack of sleep and perhaps a guilty conscious. This weekend there was a huge party here in Altes Lager, one I did not attend. It was quite the event, with spot lights and loud music which played continuously from 10PM Friday until 3PM Saturday. And again from 10PM Saturday until 8PM Sunday. It was loud and obnoxious and put me in quite poor spirits. Then on Sunday evening a few kids from the School I teach at kept ringing the bell to my room, which is obnoxious. My patience was thin as I was feeling sick, tired and cranky. So I went and at first was civil, but they then started to take other peoples mail, and seeing as they don’t know English I stuttered in German telling them not to mess with it. They didn’t listen, they only laughed. Annoyed I left their presence muttering in anger. They then proceeded to ring the bell again, just as a thought a nap might be possible, and they rung it for some time. I went out and they began running over me with their bikes. I took it amicably and final told them I was feeling sick and needed sleep and left them. Sometime later they called again and I was annoyed and went down and yelled in English for them to leave me alone, please, I was feeling sick. And I was feeling sick too. But since I have felt bad for being short with them. Though it really was their fault. I’m too hard on myself I know but the whole thing made me feel bad as a person. I think it is just that all the stress of where I am has finally caught up to me and I am finally feeling homesick and alone here. You really start to miss English when it is so far from available. I know that things will get better, I will feel better, and get sleep soon. But I hate to be alone. Times when I felt like this I could only manage sleep by staying up very late or sleeping on my friend from colleges couch. Those options are really readily available to me here seeing as my college friend is half a world a way, as is his couch, and I have to get up very early, so that staying up late is a bad idea. Plus there is nothing with which to occupy my attention with at so late an hour. Thus here I am found in my present state. Please send me love, it will find ample reception during these next few difficult days. I promise to attempt to return to my usual jovial self soon.


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